Me Myself & I

Jessica
20 already
23/02/1988
Nanyang Poly
Dip in Mechatronics Engineering

Always follow your heart, not your mind...

Loves

Family
Him
Friends
Basketball
Shopping
Crapping
Sleeping
Chatting

Detest

Ants - more of afraid!!
No Money....
Pimples~~
Skin Peeling....
Backstabbing friends
Bitches
Jerks, Bastards and Assholes
Guys who tinks they are big shots!

Desire

A medium Shetland Sheepdog
My)hosis Shawl
Driving License
Sports Bag
New Bikini
BIG TEDDY BEAR
Digital Camera
Havaianas Slippers
NewUrbanMale Tokyo Singlet
NewUrbanMale Germany Singlet
New Wallet
Tepanyaki Dinner Treat at Pacific Hotel
More Blouses/Shirts

Friends

Tagboard



Those Days
Friday, November 19, 2004
Those days when my mind juz go POOF!
Hey i'm back again on the com writing my blog, pouring my feelins away haha... isn't so ironic its like writing a blog is much more easy and feels more beta den letting a person listen... becoz blogs dun comment on wat eva u say.. its emotionless.. its gd in a way but one thing i realli nid now is a big gd tight hug juz from anyone...

This few days i keep on having those kind of feelin when i'm in a total daze, dunno wat to do, dun wanna eat, dun wanna slp, i stand up i feel like sitting, when i'm sitted i feel like standing... u noe wat i mean.... its like there is alot of things going on in my mind and its like a full tornado going round and round and round... and is like nth is stop to actually like u lay ur mind on.. u get wat i mean. i doubt so!! onli unique ppl like mi have tt kind of unique ability haha...

Recently, i've been having alot of things in my mind, such as i'm penniless... jobless... my frens are like all occupied by their jobs... o's are ending dunno wat to do... jaysen's not in gd health... he is somemore getting into the firemen department... ( dangerous job) jaysen having weird dreams, i'm having weird dreams... everybody is having weird dreams... why? is like suddenly everything is pouring on mi... but i'm not sad, angry, frustrated or anything... if i am i tink i wun be in this stated at all.. is like i dunno wat expression to give... i juz react to wat nids my attention the most... if i have to be a happy gal for someone to be happy i will... if i have to be sad to acc someone crying i will.. if i have to be strong juz to give someone courage i will... but wat abt mi...? when will i actually be sad, happy and strong for myself?

I sometimes wonder i'm i realli tt kind of Bor Chap gal hu doesn't realli care abt anything... no i dun tink so... if i din care, i wun have called those companies for amira and derek.. if i din care, i wun be bother if jaysen's gonna go for an op... if i din care, i wun try means and ways to help amira get her football player's signature... everybody brand mi as a bor chap fella.. and obviously i will juz accept it for everyone's sake... but i juz cant seem to express myself.. do I? is like wheneva jaysen mention abt how kayla would react to sth he did with mi, my heart will tickle abit... it like wheneva he has to compare how gd i am, he would compare mi with kayla... juz like going out with derek... he will tell me u go ask kayla if i did care abt her the way i care for u... or if i was with kayla now she will ignore and scold mi... if kayla was here she will juz slap mi.. if kayla was there blah blah blah... haiz it juz goes on.. but i dun realli react to it.. within spilt sec i'm back to normal... i'm i juz realli tt understanding or i'm juz expressionless....

Alot of things happen to jaysen ever since he knew mi... and i cant do anything for him.... i always see him in pain and anguish.... and all i can do is juz stare... it hurts somehow... i always wished tt i knew medical and would help mi... but i dun... and wheneva i wanna help him i would ponder twice.. becoz i'm afriad if i would hurt him if i did it the wrong way... GOD wat can i do... now in camp he is worried over alot of things.. and i cant do anything for him.. but i will make sure over the weekend, he will be ok.. hope so.. cross my fingers...

Things do revolve around us, juz like the moon would (am i right?).... the moon does not nid ot think where the sun would be so it can turn day to night... but we muz! dun we?